If there is anything more terrifying than sitting down to write something original, I'm not sure what it is. This from a girl who is scared of NOTHING. Well maybe sharks, but that's legit. And if I stay out of the ocean, I'm fine. I've been talking about writing for ages. Years, maybe. Last year I decided that I was going to develop the habit of daily writing if it killed me. It didn't, but I also found myself with a lot of journal entries that began with, "Today I ____". Completely uninspiring. And this word "inspired": I totally find it suffocating. I CAN'T get inspired, I don't KNOW what inspires me, I'm inspired by EVERYTHING, I don't even know where to START, it's all so overwhelming…maybe I'll just go fix a cup of coffee and see what's happening on Facebook.
Yesterday I was forced to face the fact that it's all a pile of nonsense, thanks to a dear friend who is facing the same wall. I can't start by writing something marketable, something that I think other people will want to read. I can't wait for a good time, or a perfectly staged life. I don't have to find a magic key to unlock my inspiration (because it doesn't exist), and if I'm going to be a writer, I have to shut up, sit down, and START WRITING. There, I said it: "I'm going to be a writer." AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!
Welcome to my writing world. I can't promise inspiration, though I think it will come. I'm pretty sure it's going to be messy, and I'm going to have to get okay with that, because (and believe me, with two artists for parents, I KNOW) creativity isn't very neat or orderly. (ARGH, again.) I'm not sure what this is going to be, except a place to start, and that's ok.
